You chose the Sea

Something different like something new
and still known to me.
Breath to breath;
toe to stomach.
We both try to sleep from time to time
and keep her from sneaking in.
Tonight I was weak.
She waited until I opened up
and then she intoxicated me.
As long as she is there, you are gone.
With her I keep you distant.

She grows larger, not being herself anymore.
She reaches the point of being something iconic.
Beastly iconic, from a sad place-
and I want to make it even worse.
It is your death;
the knife, the poison, your throat.
Over and over again.
Waking and sleeping.
I see you laughing, I wish you gone.
She will never hear my words;
a numb muse, a bitter kiss,
hitting me were it hurts.

You are not real, you just touched me.
I can skin you,
I can strip you to your imagined bones,
drain you and make you different,
make you new.

In my mind you are crying endlessly,
I wish to make it worse.
Let him attract you.
Let him satisfy you
and then break you.
Spill yourself in front of him,
melt, dissolve:
Liar.
Liar.

He was born again, he was new.
Your breath with mine,
your toes on my stomach.
Your trust on my chest
and I keep you distant.
A head in my hand, uncrushed.
It is not my choice.

It is your memories, not mine.
And it hurts to realise, that it is the same the other way around.
We share some health,
deep down inside
where it is warm and dark
and filled with dry grass and leaves.
I know I should not be here.
But I am glad I came.

That hole was yours but you chose the sea-
You is Me.